There’s a common expectation to start the year with optimism. For me, though, a fresh start doesn’t require pretending everything is okay. I value honesty over toxic positivity, which means acknowledging what still needs my attention. I’m starting this year with compassion for the parts of me that carry past scars.
Recently, a wellness blogger-expert’s content brought up old pain. It wasn’t just his dramatic delivery; it reminded me of a version of myself that was once deceived and betrayed. Love bombed. Recognizing this isn’t “sweating the small stuff.” It is acknowledging what was real.
My trauma being triggered doesn’t excuse his behavior. A boundary violation is still a violation, and deception is still deception. The difference now is that I spot these patterns quickly. I canceled my subscription as soon as I noticed the warning signs.
Others might view this as an overreaction. As part of my healing and self-inquiry process, I tuned inward and asked myself that. This isn’t an overreaction. For those of us with a history of betrayal, a breach of space isn’t a small thing—it’s a signal. Given how misunderstood trauma is, given how uninformed society is about trauma, our protective instincts are often dismissed.
I am not overreacting; I am responding to a pattern I’ve seen before. Validating my own response is how I refuse to gaslight myself — and prevent falling into the trap of spiritual and human bypassing.
I’ve become highly aware of performative patterns: the use of sophisticated language to mask a lack of substance, inconsistent professional claims, and a focus on high-end branding over genuine transparency. These are tactics that exploit a person’s desire for meaning and connection. I don’t judge those who follow him because I was once that vulnerable. That memory helps me stay understanding and compassionate while I focus on my own path.
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This situation also clarified memories of my deceased, manipulative, narcissistic mother. Decades of betrayal before I cut contact made me alert to signs of manipulation and deception. While the patterns are similar, I am grateful I can now tell the difference between then and now. I am giving myself the time and space to think clearly and process the hurt without judgment — for myself and others.
And that is how I’m starting the year: integrating my experiences rather than pushing them away — welcoming and honoring whatever is coming up for healing, release, and integration. I am prioritizing my autonomy over putting on a show. I am moving forward feeling lighter, with less distraction and more trust in myself and the Divine Intelligence.
If this resonates, how do you honor yourself when old patterns resurface? If any part of this speaks to you, I invite you to share your reflections in the comment section below.
Peace and Blessings,
— Thea 💙
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